I Party Like a Rock Star

All better, yes, indeedy! I'm back in fighting form, bright-eyed and bushy tailed and ready to rumble. Even with Rufus, the awful pit bull upstairs, who by the way still really annoys me (and I'm willing to admit scares me) with his loud bark and incessant taunting.

Owner and I have taken to going on long morning walks at a nearby park that surrounds a lake. I am in pure heaven. There are so many exciting things to scope out--from lots of squirrels to ducks and geese. I have a sneaking suspicion that I might even be able to find some badgers. God, that would be fantastic.

I roam all around the grass (albeit still on leash--Owner never, ever lets me off leash). It feels wonderful. This morning Owner seems like she's in a particular hurry, though. She's tugging on me a little more and exhorting me to speed things up. Geez, doesn't she know about smelling the roses?!

We make it back home and Owner rushes through breakfast and getting cleaned up. And then she pulls out a big red bag and starts to pack up a bunch of stuff, including her bright, shiny object. With a quizzical look, she glances my way then heads out the front door. This doesn't bode well. Where is she going?! Sure, she'll go off for a bit, here and there. But there was something in her demeanor when she left this time that suggests she's going to be gone for a while. I don't know whether to be afraid or throw a party.

After sulking on the sofa for a while, I decide to make the best of it. If Owner is cruel enough to leave me alone for an extended period, then I will exact revenge. Let's see...oh yes, the bag of trash in the kitchen. I remember my previous owners hated it when I dug into it. I bring the bag down and then do a good job strewing the garbage around. Ha! Take that, Owner.

Then I go into the bedroom and pull down the comforter. No easy task, because it's quite heavy. After that difficult chore, I make my way to her bathroom and unspool the toilet paper. I do the same thing in the second bathroom. But I need some sort of grand finale. Something that will really get Owner. I manage to overturn the small rug in the front hall. And proceed to pee and poop.

I perch myself on the sofa and survey the damage. Nice job, I think. I'm feeling tired--destruction is hard work.Time for a nap.